So, I have been gone for a long time.
At the point of my last post I was in the process of going back to work. It became clear early on that posting would not be compatible with that particular environment. It was a difficult time but it gave me the confidence to realise that I would not be defined by others opinions of me. I have been in my new job for 6 months and it has been a very rejuvenating experience.
I am conscious that at points in my life I have made the decision to follow the advise of 1 Corinthians 13 and put away childish things. At the end of my degree, I stopped writing and reading entirely. When John was ill I gave up my dream to return to Scotland to live. His illness has hobbled many hopes and dreams but I have realised that they are only slowed; if we wish to pursue them we can, we just have to reframe them.
At Christmas I got an Amazon Kindle Fire tablet. Since I started my new job in September, I read on the bus going to and from the little market town I now work in. I had a kindle app for my phone but it was not a very comfortable read and so I organised my Christmas present. On Boxing Day I discovered the Outlander tv series. Drawn in by the use of Gaelic, I was entranced from the first episode. Perhaps it was the bounty of the season, perhaps it is my addictive personality but I binge watched seasons one and two. I was and am completely enchanted by it and soon discovered it was adapted from a series of books by Diana Gabaldon.
I meant only to read the first two, so that I was up-to-date with the series. I was going to do a read along type of thing but at the end of book 2 I was not able to resist. I am now re-reading the series.
The books, the turn of the year, the anniversary of my own darling deceased Scot, started me on a journey of thought. I can learn Gaelic, I can move back to Scotland, we can be a nation again… and I will be there when we are. Maybe not in this moment, but one day. These are not childish things and I will not put them aside again.