Category: stress

Strange times


My beautiful pictureOn a whim, just before the summer holidays, I contacted a very wise former colleague and asked about getting back into governance.

I used to work for a number of different schools as what we call here the Clerk to the Governors.  When I finished at my last job, days seemed incredibly dark for a variety of reasons I won’t go in to here but as a result my confidence was at an all time low.

Over the last few years I have tried to learn to cope better with John’s illness and the stresses and strains that life has thrown our way, not always successfully.  I am learning to be kinder to myself and my quilting and handmade things have given me a new confidence.  Going to craft fairs and talking to people about what I do has helped me to understand the value of my abilities in a kinds of different parts of my life.

This week has done that too: an unexpected opportunity from an unlikely (I thought) source has made me see that I do have value to others beyond my front door.  I will try to remember this when stress rears its ugly head again.

I will continue to run Love Quilts and to make the things I love,; I haven’t stopped being a carer, the work I do can largely be done from home. I’m sure non of this will increase the frequency with which I update my blog!

>Can do


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I am feeling very odd.
Today was the first day back at work and of course, I am not there. To say that this is, in many ways, a huge relief is a massive understatement. The relief is tinged with real fear about the future and I waiver wildly between feeling unusual optimism and the pit of despair. Ho hum. To give up a job, any job, seems foolish and melodramatic but to give up something that is making you sick to the bottom of your soul ….

Aside from all the mental turmoil, today I have achieved the following:
  • steam cleaned the kitchen
  • reported our broken boiler and am awaiting boiler repairman (no mean feat when you are not even inclined to let your own mother into the house of doom)
  • tidied the living room (almost took down tree but twelth night paranoia stopped me)
  • made lentil soup with Christmas ham stock
  • phoned Carers Champions
  • phoned Simply Counselling (a counselling service for stroke survivors and their families)

I thought I was on a fairly even keel with it all but when I was leaving Simply Counselling a message I got quite choked. I do feel robbed and bereft and angry, so very angry …
I am now waiting for DWP to phone so I may do some baking – it’s a bit like fags and buses – they are bound to phone when I am elbow deep in flour.

In other news, Adult Social Care have granted me a lovely amount of money in order to purchase some driving lessons, so hooray for them